[Linux-aus] Victim Impact Statement

Paul Wayper paulway at mabula.net
Tue Nov 5 20:20:39 EST 2013


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Well, that's sad.

I _am_ sorry for David; I've been through rough patches and contemplated
suicide and I know it's terrible to find that other people are making your
life miserable.  No-one needs to go through that, especially not at the
hands of a group, especially not on this topic.

Because this is the stupid thing.  This, and much much worse, has happened
to women in IT.  It's probably happening to someone right now.  Some women
have feared for their lives because of attacks on Twitter.  Some women have
had to quit their jobs and move because a group of people decided to make
her life awful.  No-one should ever have to go through that.

There are obvious differences in the situations and I think it's worth
people reflecting on them.

Personally, I beg the reader in the future, wading through this little
episode on the Linux Australia list and trying to distill some wisdom out of
all the words: please by all you hold dear think before you post.  Do your
research.  Do not be surprised if you raise a contentious issue and people
get angry.  Do not be surprised if someone raises a contentious issue and
thinks they've seen a totally new side to it with which you feel already
totally, unpleasantly familiar.  Please be slow to anger and quick to
forgive.  To paraphrase Kipling, be prepared to hear the words you've spoken
twisted into a trap - and do not fall into that trap.  Please find within
yourself the strength to step away from something that hurts and let the
problem pass by.

I don't speak from a position of expertise with any of those things.  I
still work on learning these lessons.

Good luck, David, in whatever path you take to recovery.  Good luck, all of
us, in being better people in the future.

All the best,

Paul
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