[Linux-aus] RE: What? No Evidence?

Brent Wallis (IS) brent at wallis.id.au
Mon Feb 2 12:56:02 UTC 2004

Dear Leon,

Thanks for your correspondence with "<-|" (or the sofware company formerly known as SCO/Caldera.)

Please note that we have used some of our share gains these last few weeks to "re-brand" again.

We have decided to do this every quarter when we should be auditing, that way, we have an "alibi" if we run into regulatory strife when trying to explain our "highly qualified" and "elastic" bottom line. 

As of today, we will be known as "<-|", a vain attempt to rip off that guy who used to be called Prince I know......but at least it won't be able to be morphed into derogatory terms like "schmo". The name calling these last few weeks has been quite distressing for all concerned....

Our answers appear below:

Leon Brooks <leon at cyberknights.com.au> wrote ..
> Good morning, SCO ANZ!
Hello sweet cheeks. :-)

> Today dawns fine and clear, and I see no invoice from you, and no 
> evidence for any of The SCO Group's code being in Linux.
> In my office, I constantly run a uniprocessor server on Linux 2.6.1, a
> UP server on 2.4.23, a dual-processor server on 2.4.22, two UP 
> workstations on 2.6.1 and a UP laptop on 2.4.22. In addition, I 
> regularly run up other Linux-based machines as they are prepared for 
> installation on client premises.
> If you know that in doing so I'm using any of your code, copyrighted 
> material, patented processes or anything of the kinds, please send me 
> an invoice for those but only if you can accompany the invoice with 
> precise specification of the rights you can prove are being used.
> By "precise" I really do mean precise: vague references like "the RCU 
> code" will not do because they are not sufficient to make an 
> independent determination of the veracity of your claims. The SCO Group
> must surely have at least some of this evidence available already, as 
> it is being required to collate it for presentation to a US Court in a
> week or so.

Damn!... we almost had you there, and it's for this reason that we have not gotten back to you yet... our "evidence" was all ready to be couriered over...honest!...., but reading your words here has made us re-think what we had written and we thought it would probably be a little too vague for your liking. 

As an alternative, we thought we might do up some "example code" as a "demonstration" of what we are publically fantasising about....but someone in the team mentioned that you would know what you are talking about cos your an "Open Sourcerer" which means that you would have probably seen through the nonsense we had put together.  

(It's a learning experience for us all. When our guys started talking about "C Code".....I thought they meant "Sea Code"!.... I spent weeks with the US Navy trying to wrangle a deal before someone realised I wasn't in my office and called me to find out what I was doing...and set me straight...silly me.... :-)*blush*)

Just a quick note on that too. Rather than waste these "code" examples, we are going to try and use them when the ACCC finally calls us to task. So please keep what I have just told you quiet ok?.....a lot of money is riding on it you know.. :-)
> If you have any trouble identifying the kernels I'm using, just pull the
> latest Mandrake Cooker kernels from a file mirror like the one below, 
> and supply the version number of that along with a list of file names 
> and line number ranges referring to that which you claim as your 
> property:
> http://public.planetmirror.com/pub/mandrake/devel/cooker/SRPMS/
> Do take care when nominating "your" code, because if you claim as your
> property any code written by non-SCO developers, you can be sure that 
> at least some of them (incensed by The SCO Group's recent high-handed 
> tactics) will certainly take the opportunity to sue you for copyright 
> infringement.
> I haven't seen any response to my previous communication, which is odd
> given that The SCO Group's lawyers rushed to include accusations of 
> attack from the MyDoom virus in their most recent 10K filing:
> http://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1102542/000104746904002142/a2127332z10-k.htm#page_dm1113_1_38
> This is significant because The SCO Group has essentially accused the 
> Linux community (and I am unequivocally a part of the Linux community)
> of writing MyDoom, specifically "We've been working through a judicial
> system here. But now you have people going outside the system, trying 
> to attack us, to try and shut us down before we have a court verdict" 
> although Darl later backwaters this to "We don't know for sure if this
> attack is coming from Linux<1>, but we have very strong suspicions that
> is the case":
> http://www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0401/30/lol.01.html
> This is even more significant because MyDoom has been traced to 
> commercial spammers in Russia<2>:
> http://www.themoscowtimes.com/stories/2004/01/30/002.html

OK OK! I hear you already!

Jeeez! all this open-ness and truth stuff makes it difficult for us to hide anything!

You guys have opened up ICT when "we" were all trying to get it closed up! We were having a great time with all those clueless CIO's and Admins until you guys started debating the relative merits of software. 

We had people convinced that OpenServer was actually created in 2015 and transported back by our patented time machine .....!
(We have instructed our team to go after the Jules Verne Estate BTW, we have evidence that he travelled forward to our time using OUR technology and he stole OUR time machine idea....we reckon the "paradox value" alone will keep us going for years.. :-)....). 

Everyone thought they were getting gold with OpenServer, instead of coal....but noooooo you guys have changed all of that!

....Can't you at least let us make a few mil' b4 we retire?.... Please?

> I'm wondering if this demand for licence fees might be more of the same?
> If it is, do bear in mind that Australian law is a lot less inclined to
> let freedom of speech trump fraud than US law.

Yeah well we ain't stupid buddy! Why do you think we took so long to get the prices out? We have had legal guys on this one for ages, and we know that providing we:
1. DO NOT Answer your questions directly
2. DO NOT Actually send out invoices without getting your Purchase Order
3. DO NOT "Dress to the left" and wear "Green" G-strings instead of "Yellow and Blue"

..that you will not be able to touch us.....so ..........nah nah nah :-P

> Either way, today is your final chance to either prove your claims 
> against my company for our use of Linux, or to publicly retract them. 
> If you need more time to prove your claims, please contact me promptly
> with the details to negotiate a deferment of action.

Oh yeah? Well here's one back. 

If you don;t pay that "fee"....well...
.. we are all going to hold our breath until we turn blue....

..so there smarty pants.... 

how would you feel then eh? 

..Not too good I would expect... 

I can just see the headlines:

"Softdrink...ooops, Software Company Exec's Asphixiate Themselves in Protest over Aussie Leon's Demands"

So what will it be Leon? 

Are you going to pay us 
will we be forced to stick our own heads in a pillow?

I gotta run. Some joker in our organisation muttered out loud how easy it would be to avoid the MyDoom DoS attack and we have to go and "handle" him.


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