<html><head></head><body>Dear David,<br>
<br>
Thankyou for your heartfelt and sincere statement explaining you did not intend to cause offence.<br>
<br>
I unreservedly apologise for causing you to feel as you do. And I very much hope you are able to get the treatment you need for depression. <br>
<br>
I accept you did not intend to offend. I also note you've not apologised for having done so. You say no-one explained why they chose to take offense. <br>
<br>
I will do so. Privately to you and to council. I aim to do so with sensitivity and compassion and hope that might help you understand my perspective. As I feel I am now beginning to understand yours.<br>
<br>
But not on my phone. Not whilst on a tram.<br>
<br>
I also applaud your bravery. Speaking up about depression isn't easy. It affects too many of us.<br>
<br>
Take care David.<br>
<br>
- Donna.<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">David Newall <davidn@davidnewall.com> wrote:<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding-left: 1ex;">
<pre class="k9mail">I cannot continue being associated with Linux Australia. It's bad for <br />my health, very, very bad. Apparently telling people how their actions <br />have impacted upon me can help mitigate the injury, so I'm resigning as <br />a member and composing this message as my exit note. This is a narrative <br />in which I tell you how the treatment handed out to me has made me <br />feel. That's an unusual style of posting for this list, but, <br />apparently, will help me recover from the injuries inflicted by others <br />on this list.<br /><br />I'm resigning because the treatment met out to me in retaliation to my <br />Support for Women post has emotionally battered me. The post was about <br />a serious issue and I had hoped that talking about it might be a good <br />thing. I hope I was polite and cogent, and can see nothing offensive in <br />what I wrote. The concern that affirmative action programs can <br />undermine the very people they are
intended to benefit was not new nor <br />my own idea. I was inspired to write it after that meme resurfaced in <br />quality media a number of times over the last few weeks. My comment <br />about Thatcher was drawn from a recent edition of Q&A.<br /><br />Some people were obviously incensed by what I wrote, but it seemed to be <br />the idea of the discussion that incensed them. Typical of their replies <br />was to call me a troll, which was a hurtful and offensive thing to do. <br />What a pity they put in effort to imply that I was being offensive, but <br />to omit any explanation of how I offended. They chose to take offense. <br />Calling me a troll was the tactic of a bully. It's a practice of <br />intimidation; kill the messenger; stifle the message. It hurt. It made <br />me feel anxious and unable to cope with life.<br /><br />I was hurt by the replies which ascribed nefarious motives to me. I was <br />hurt by having my words twisted and misreprese
nted,
and by having <br />different words thrust in my mouth.<br /><br />Donna Benjamin said, "You seem to assume women are inferior and are <br />getting special treatment." No, I don't think women are inferior and <br />nothing I wrote should give that impression. I did say that women are <br />getting special treatment, which they are. Linking part of my message <br />with something that I did not say made me feel frustrated and <br />alienated. It made me feel that I was being demonised.<br /><br />Donna called me a troll and said I should be removed from this mailing <br />list. It's easy to call me a troll, but the accusation without any <br />substantiation hurt very much. It left me bewildered. What part of what <br />I wrote was trolling? Linux Australia is the preeminent association of <br />my peers, and to agitate for my removal was to agitate for my <br />professional isolation. It made me fear for the future.<br /><br />Pomke Nohkan repeated Donna, accused me
of
obviously intending to <br />troll. Wrong. I wasn't, and I don't see what gave the idea that I <br />was. Pomke called for me to be banned. I felt like the whole world was <br />turning against me; and for what? Only for saying something which is a <br />concern that has been widely raised, and which seems so self-evident. <br />When you mandate that a women is chosen, you leave that women open to <br />being undermined as not being the best candidate. That must be <br />particulaly upsetting for women who happen to be the best candidate.<br /><br />Daniel Bryan said, that there are other forums to air "Mens' Rights <br />Activism." My post had nothing to do with men's rights, and he made me <br />feel that I being pilloried by people who hadn't even read what I wrote.<br /><br />Rob Kearey said, "I'm done with entitled-neckbeards. I'm out." This <br />made me feel that I did something wrong, that I drove him out, that I <br />was not capable of successfully deliveri
ng a
simple line of reasoning.<br /><br />Paul Gear wrote that "David is sitting back right now laughing that we <br />were all silly enough to take the bait." I felt deeply hurt by this and <br />every other accusation of being a troll. I tried hard to craft my <br />message politely and cogently, and even though Paul expressed some <br />sympathy with the views I expressed, being called a troll made me feel <br />like a failure.<br /><br />Kim Hawtin said that, "David is well versed in trolling on our local <br />lists," and that made me feel physically queasy. Kim has previously <br />accused me of trolling, which is a tactic designed to intimidate me and <br />to alienate others against me, and I did feel intimidated.<br /><br />Andrew Pam said I "intentionally posted contentious opinions with the <br />intent to cause offense." Calling the opinions that I expressed <br />contentious implies that the counter-opinion is widely accepted, but the <br />thread, as well as comm
on life
experience, shows otherwise. It wasn't <br />the opinion that was contentious but the subject matter. I had tried to <br />broach the subject without offense, so being accused of intending to <br />offend made me feel unwanted in this list.<br /><br />Russell Coker said it is "reasonably common for undiagnosed Autistic <br />people to be labelled as trolls." I have struggled with depression for <br />over a decade. His veilled accusation of autism made me feel angry. I <br />have a hard time coping; just getting up each day is hard, let alone <br />going out and doing things. Being called autistic exacerbated that.<br /><br />Glen Turner twisted my words by taking them out of context. He put it <br />that I said, "women gain opportunities at the expense of more capable <br />(or more needy) men." I did say that, and the risk of that outcome is <br />intrinsic to a policy that requires appointing a woman. But by omitting <br />my subsequent sentence, "this undermines
their
credibility," Glen made <br />me feel the victim of "negative spin." Glen once played a hugely <br />important role in connecting Australia to the internet, and I felt <br />belittled by his use of my words to present a meaning that was not <br />originally there. His subsequent refusal to correct himself added to a <br />feeling of paranoia.<br /><br />Hugh Blemings, on behalf of the council, announced that the subject was <br />not to be dropped because it "doesn't meet a reasonableness test of <br />being relevant to linux-aus aims or Free and Open Source Software." I <br />cannot, for the life of me, understand how that got said without <br />challenge from us all. How can the council say that a discussion on <br />association policies is unreasonable? The attempt at censorship, and <br />the lack of outrage expressed over it, made me feel paranoid. Joel Shaw <br />agreed with the censorship! I especially felt that the council was out <br />to get me.<br /><br />Wh
en I
refused to meekly accept that the council could prohibit <br />discussions relating to association policy, Rusell Cocker repeated his <br />Asperger claim in these terms: "you're really doubling-down on the <br />behavior that gives Aspies a bad reputation." I doubt he really does <br />think that policies may not be questioned. Linking his implied slur <br />with the council's ham-fisted attempt to wrongly stifle discussion was <br />doubly hurtful, as well as bewildering. Does he think that policies may <br />not be questioned, or is it just this one?<br /><br />Apparently a complaint was made against me, and the council have chosen <br />to follow process. They do not have to do that. They are entitled to <br />find the complaint without merit, and had they done so I wouldn't have <br />known it was made. They chose otherwise. They threatened me. This <br />made me feel confused: was my message really offended? Is the topic <br />taboo? It made me feel anxious:
that
the council intends kicking me <br />out, denying me association with my peers. I was unable to work. I had <br />to go to bed, and wasn't able to eat, or to get up again, until three <br />days later.<br /><br />My posting was not imflamatory, although a few people chose to react as <br />if it was. It was not unreasonable, although the council took two <br />different approaches to stop ensuing discussion. When I asked people on <br />this list how they felt about the council's action, not a single person <br />cared enough to reply, other than Craige McWhirter, and one other <br />private message of abuse. Neither of those two messages addressed the <br />question of how they felt about the council's action against me. Nobody <br />spoke to that issue. That made me feel more unwelcome than did all of <br />the hate mail sent in response to my original post.<br /><br />I feel very hurt by the many people who chose to belittle me, or to <br />attack me instead of what
I
said. I considered suicide. I feel <br />unwelcome because of the lack of any sort of support over what I tell <br />you is an abuse of process by the council, in fact two abuses, including <br />the censorship as well as the complaints process. I have become anxious <br />and feel agitated, cannot work at all, indeed it has been a great <br />struggle to compose this impact statement. I am now able to get up, but <br />avoid seeing people. I cannot talk to clients and so have switched my <br />phones off. Even though I will have no professional peers with whom to <br />engage, the impact has been so great that I resign membership. I have <br />no real choice in the matter; to do otherwise will prevent me from <br />recoverring from the harm done to me. I see no future where I contine <br />being a member, which would not include deliberately personal attacks on <br />me. I cannot stand idly by while the council engages in underhanded <br />attacks against me to prot
ect bad
policy, or even good policy, if is is <br />good; but apparently not so good; apparently it needs censorship from <br />discussion; apparently it needs bullying and intimidation for its defense.<br /><br />I am very sorry to lose contact with those others of you who have me <br />politely, as people should be treated. I am greatful to the majority, <br />who engaged in the discussion that I started, rather than engaged in <br />personal attack against me. Some people supported what I said; some <br />people opposed it. Most were constructive and pollte. Some people <br />chastised those who attacked me, instead of the message, and I was <br />encouraged by that fair-mindedness. But it was not enough. Nobody <br />objected to council censorship. Nobody objected to egregious abuse of <br />complaints process. I cannot be part of a group that makes me a <br />pariah. I cannot be part of a group that drives me to actual tears, <br />leaves me so low that I cannot get up,
cannot
work, cannot see friends <br />or family.<br /><br />I cannot stand to imagine how this statement will be treated. I expect <br />it will be largely negative. I shall unsubscribe as soon as I see it <br />has been received. I resign membership and revile you collectively as <br />nasty bullies who lie and intimidate to achieve a purely political goal <br />using what should be a technical group. I hope some of you feel shame <br />over how you treated me, but predict only joy at an outcome sought after <br />and achieved.<br /><br />I thought writing this was supposed to be cathartic, supposed to help me <br />move past how I have been treated, but I feel even worse. Maybe it takes <br />time. I thought that I would feel terrible resigning membership, but <br />no, that is giving me a sense of peace.<br /><br /><hr /><br />linux-aus mailing list<br />linux-aus@lists.linux.org.au<br /><a
href="http://lists.linux.org.au/listinfo/linux-aus">http://lists.linux.org.au/listinfo/linux-aus</a><br /></pre></blockquote></div><br>
-- <br>
Donna Benjamin<br>
@kattekrab<br>
Sent from phone.</body></html>